the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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