Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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