It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
