are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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