Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
