Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
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