we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
