so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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