So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
