i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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