ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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