I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize