You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
