I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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