I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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