i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
