I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize