i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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