Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
