Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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