Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
