It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
