Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
