I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
