dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
