when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
