he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
