i just google imaged poop.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
