i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
