and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just want to make out with him forever
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
