I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
