McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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