Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
