Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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