Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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