Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
