What did we do last night that was yellow?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
