Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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