I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
