that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
