Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
