I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
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