I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
