Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
