barbara walters just said penis...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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