I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm sobbing to NWA
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize