I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
