I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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