We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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