he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
