Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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