I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
How does it feel to date your dad?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
