I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
