Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
