i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
