Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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