My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
