What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
50% drunk capacity currently
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
